I’ve always found the Winter months difficult. When I was four, my father was killed in a motorbike accident, eleven days before Christmas. And even though my mother married again and we led a comfortable life, she would sink into depression each year, as British Summertime ended.
So, my memories of Halloween, Bonfire Night, Christmas and Hogmany are bittersweet. They became high points of enforced gaiety, which ~ in my naivety ~ I took as signs that she was ‘better’. But as soon as the 8ft pine Christmas tree was taken down and it’s baubles packed in the attic, her mood would descend back into darkness.
Years later my step~father died in Christmas week and December 8th marks the tenth anniversary of my mother’s death. Although I no longer grieve openly for my three lost parents, the sadness and anxiety that accompanies the ‘Happy’ Holidays has been ever~present.
Until now. Last weekend I was directed to Cathy Brown Sykora’s Rock The Holiday – Challenge Yourself! which began on Monday. I’ve decided to take it up ~ defining some important goals for myself and reporting progress to other members of the group. Turning the sorry season on it’s head and creating wholesome, happy memories instead of wishing that I could be wafted away from all the celebrations to some desert island!
I found this quote on Facebook that sums it up quite neatly:
I’m still working on those personal goals, waiting for the details to crystallise into manageable steps. I do know that, with the rest of my life more or less ordered, I’m going to focus on being kind and gentle with myself, for a change.
I’ll keep you in the loop 🙂
Although I have chosen to link this post to ‘Occupy Blogosphere Thursday’, I plan to compose independent updates from now on. The Occupy Blogosphere movement was started by Amy, author of Souldipper’s Blog, to light up the Blogosphere with a shot of positive energy, each week. To read her most recent post ~ and for more information on how to join in, please click here: